


two more months

by astralnoon



Category: The Creatures | Cow Chop RPF
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks (to the night before), Hopeful Ending, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, aleks has abandonment issues, also some light implication on suicidal thoughts, canon divergence- james didn’t leave cc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 14:00:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28583148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astralnoon/pseuds/astralnoon
Summary: “James I- I think I fucked up,” James barely makes out Aleks saying.“Are you ok? Did something happen?”“Can you… just come to my place? I don’t wanna be alone right now.”
Relationships: Aleksandr Vitalyevich Marchant/James Richard Wilson
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12





	two more months

**Author's Note:**

> I’m a slut for hurt/comfort fics so naturally I had to write one for the boys!

When James wakes up he is immediately aware of the extra warmth on the right side of his body, and then he recognizes the steady, faint breathing against his neck. Thankfully it seems that Aleks did finally find sleep at some point last night as he’s out cold with one arm draped across James’ abdomen where one of his found its way across Aleks’ shoulders. Using the same hand James gently rubs his back causing Aleks, while still asleep, to snuggle closer to him and James responds by rolling onto his side to allow Aleks to fully embrace him; memories of the previous night then begin to flood James’ mind as he swallows down the sadness that accompanies them. 

~

At around 8:30pm James had been getting ready to take a shower when his phone started to ring and to his surprise, it was Aleks’ name on the screen. Typically if Aleks needed anything he would send a text, and James begins to mentally sort through everything he had done at the warehouse that day to see if he had forgotten something important, but he cannot think of anything. Then what reason could Aleks possibly have to be calling him? If there had been a group outing planned he would have said something at work a couple of days prior, and even then he knows that James typically says no. Perplexed, James picks up the call and starts to ask if he forgot something that day… only to be met with sobbing. 

“James, I- I think I fucked up,” James barely makes out Aleks saying. 

“Are you ok? Did something happen?”

“Can you… just come to my place? I don’t wanna be alone right now,” at this point James is overcome with worry and concern about what Aleks has gotten himself into. The past few days at work Aleks had seemed… off from his usual self; quieter and more serious than usual, not even cracking a smile when something particularly funny or stupid would happen during filming. James had attempted to ask him on a few occasions if he were doing alright, but every time Aleks would brush off his concern to simply say that he was tired. 

“Yeah of course, I’ll be there soon.” Since James lived on the other side of town it took him a while to get to Aleks, even with him driving fast. When James knocks on his door and receives no answer, he realizes that Aleks has left it unlocked and he walks inside of the apartment where his eyes land on the coffee table in the living room; two completely empty bottles of whiskey lay strewn on it alongside a half smoked blunt that is still lit. James quickly snuffs it out and places it on a nearby ashtray before returning to his main objective of finding Aleks, leading James upstairs to his bedroom. He can hear muffled crying coming from the other side of the closed door and when he quietly opens it, the sight in front of him makes his heart drop:

Aleks is sitting on the floor against his bed, knees to his chest with his head buried in his arms. Frequently he shakes with a sob and James can hear him muttering to himself but is unable to understand what he is saying. When he hears James approaching him he looks up and from how deeply red his face is, it’s evident that he had been crying for a while. James kneels down in front of him and places a hand on his shoulder, gently squeezing it as tears continue to fall. Without warning Aleks suddenly throws himself onto James, causing him to fall onto his behind, and his hands grip the back of James’ shirt as tightly as humanly possible, burying his face into James’ neck. James slings one arm around Aleks’ shoulders and uses the other arm to start lightly rubbing circles on his back; what could have possibly happened to make Aleks, who is usually pretty cheerful, so upset, James finds himself wondering as he continues to cry into his embrace. 

“Seriously, what happened? Not only did you leave your front door unlocked I found two empty bottles of whiskey in the living room…” James trails off when he registers the strong scent of alcohol on Aleks, “please don’t tell me you just drank all of that in one sitting, Aleks.”

Aleks chokes back crying long enough to respond, “and what if I did? What’re you gonna do, force me to throw it up?” He asks as he meets James’ eyes, almost as if he were daring him; while James hates that Aleks has this much alcohol inside of him right now, he would feel bad if he forced him to be sick so he has to silently hope that the urge naturally hits him on its own soon. 

“You know I’m not THAT mean now, cmon,” James absentmindedly swipes at a tear on Aleks’ cheek, “also can you be more careful with your weed? When I walked in there was a lit blunt on your table and you’re lucky that it hadn’t set a fire yet… even if you do enjoy causing fires.”

“What the fuck? I haven’t caused a fire in…” Aleks trails off as he starts crying again and then James finally figures out what is hurting him: there’s only two more months. 

Two more months with their creation that began to crash before it could reach its full potential. 

Two more months to be able to act like a jackass and at least partially get paid for it. 

Two more months in a warehouse surrounded by the memories of the past two and a half years they had spent inhabiting it. 

Cow Chop was Aleks’ only remaining attachment to his friendship with James, one that had begun to fall apart after Aleks talked James into coming back after his accident in January. James had wanted to leave in March but Aleks convinced him that staying for the rest of the year would be the best choice, as the group had already been planned to dissolve at the end of 2019. James knows that his mood in videos had taken a dip in 2018 following the departure of Joe, his childhood best friend, and while he hated that he had become so bitter and grumpy… it only got worse after the accident. James tried his best to maintain a happy, destructive persona for the camera but as time went on he found it harder and harder to do so. James hated himself for caving into Aleks’ pleas and knew that deep down he should have gone ahead and dipped, but something kept telling him to stick it out and so he did. To make matters worse he and Aleks found themselves at each other’s throats constantly, arguing nonstop over conflicting ideas for videos.

 _“Why do you want to change Amazon? I dropped out of Wrong Side, for fuck’s sake, so why not change that show up?” James asks Aleks, anger rising in his throat._

_“Because it’s getting expensive buying so much random shit; buying three of the same type of thing to test them against one another is more fun to me anyway.”_

_“How the fuck is that any cheaper? By your logic we should just cancel the show-“ Aleks slams his phone down on his desk and swiftly turns in his chair to face James._

_“Last I checked, you had told me when you returned from your recovery that you wanted me to take over as the main creative mind. So,” he takes on a tone that mocks James, “ ‘by your logic’, I have the final say in what we do for videos.”_

_“But I’m still one of the co-founders; like it or not, I rightfully still have a say in what we do.” James feels like he could reach over and strangle Aleks. Just because James had taken a step back in creating video ideas didn’t mean that he had entirely surrendered his voice in what happens._

_Aleks rolls his eyes before replying in a dull tone, “the viewers have been overwhelmingly saying they enjoy the testing format more because they were getting bored of the original format. Look James, we bought random shit every week for three fucking years, we’re sticking with the new testing format whether you like it or not.” As he stands up to walk over to the cooking set to prepare for filming, James silently watches him._

_“Yeah, as if you really think I’ll ever fucking like it,” he spits at him, although Aleks never hears him._

James is still pissed that Aleks insisted to change the Amazon format, one of the few remaining things he enjoyed about Cow Chop and Aleks had taken it from him. But in retrospective, Aleks had to be doing what he assumed to be the best choice for the group as he wanted everything to end on as positive of a note as he could; actually, James would go as far as to say that Aleks is _heartbroken_ over the impending end. James can still vividly remember the day near the end of 2018 when the group sat down to discuss how the lack of profit and motivation was going to impact the future of the channel. By the end everyone had come to the same conclusion: they had to close up shop soon; the end of 2019 was chosen as the death date as their contracts would expire a few months into 2020 and everyone had been content in the choice… except for Aleks. After everyone else had walked off to continue their work James looked over at Aleks, who had his arms crossed on the table in front of him as he blankly stared ahead; James walked over to him, patting him on the back and offering a quiet apology before he also walked off to continue his work. 

Instantaneously, James finds himself overcome with guilt at how long it took him to figure out what was getting to Aleks; he should have known himself that it was related to Cow Chop and its quickly approaching death! As a silent apology he pulls Aleks closer to him in a tight hug that only lasts for a few seconds when Aleks suddenly tenses up and steadily releases himself from James’ arms to lean back against the bed. James doesn’t have a chance to ask him about his sudden shift before he stands up and runs into the master bathroom where James begins to hear retching coming from inside. He sits in his place on the floor for a few beats contemplating whether to leave Aleks be or to sit with him as he expels the evidence of his drinking. Eventually James stands up and decides to accompany Aleks in his sick state, walking into the bathroom and sitting down next to Aleks as he begins to rub his back to hopefully soothe him. Once it seems that his body has fully rid itself of the alcohol Aleks shifts his position on the floor to rest his head on one of James’ legs, closing his eyes to try and recover from the sick spell. 

“I’m really sorry to put you through this,” he finally speaks up after a bit, “I know it’s getting kinda late but my dumbass thought I could… I guess get over my depression by…” Aleks hesitates to continue speaking and begins to tear up again, “it just fucking sucks that we’re almost to the end. I know we’ve been planning this for nearly a year but as it gets closer to the end of 2019, it hurts more and more. I wake up and genuinely get pissed that I have to go out and live in the world because I just want to stay in bed and rot; other days I’ll wake up and feel kinda ok but it’s still a struggle to feel motivated for anything. I know you kept trying to ask me if I was ok but I had no idea on how to come clean to you without making you mad or uncomfortable so I just… bottled it up until it was almost too late.”

“Why would I be mad about you telling me about your depression? Last I checked you’re still a close friend to me and I do care about you, even if I don’t show it very often,” James says in a gentle tone. 

“At least someone does,” Aleks quietly says. 

“Umm, what about your girlfriend? I know she kind of… lives on the other side of the world but-“ James is cut off by a snort and he looks down at Aleks, who is smirking. 

“If she had actually cared, do you think she would have picked NOW to suddenly break up with me? Knowing I already have a dying business to deal with, coping with losing so many friends over this shit… ‘oh, allow me to add on to your distress! You could really use my emotional support right now but I don’t wanna deal with that! Bye-bye, fuck you, don’t ever talk to me again!’ “ Aleks says the last part in a mocking, high pitched tone as he stifles a laugh and James can’t tell if it’s at how ridiculous he sounded or if it’s to keep from crying again. 

“I’m sorry man, I know you really loved her… when did this happen if you don’t mind me asking?” James immediately wonders if this was an appropriate time to ask, but then Aleks sits up and begins to speak. 

“Literally four days ago; she hadn’t been responding to any of my calls or texts for a while and the whole time I had been assuming she was busy with work. Apparently she had actually been trying to figure out the best time to drop that bombshell on me before saying fuck it and messaging me while I was sleeping. Do you even understand how badly it hurt when I woke up, saw a notification from her while being really happy that she finally had time to get back to me… only to get slammed with heartbreak when I saw that it was a breakup text?” Aleks brings his knees to his chest once again and places his chin on top of them as his gaze falls to the floor, “I was… fucking broken, dude. We had just celebrated two years together and I was in the process of searching through local events and concerts and shit to see what we could do when she came back to visit… all of that for nothing!”

“Hey, I’m sure that wasn’t easy for her to do-“

“Bullshit! If it wasn’t easy she wouldn’t have done it right now! She really ghosted me for weeks only to come back all ‘sorry, but I’m done’,” Aleks pauses as the angry expression on his face quickly fades away into sadness, “…why does everyone leave me so easily? What do I do to deserve this other than fucking exist?” He buries his face and James moves to sit closer to him so he can place an arm back around him. James knows that he’s one of the people that Aleks was getting at with his question and he can’t help but feel like shit; James had never viewed his relationship with Aleks as anything unique or special but he knows that Aleks thinks highly of him, possibly seeing James as one of his best friends. Well, at least he’d like to think that he doesn’t see Aleks as anything special but unfortunately for James… he had concealed feelings on him for a long time. That side of James yearns to lean over and kiss Aleks, pull him into his arms and hold him close while telling him that he’ll never leave him, he’ll love him no matter what… but now is not the time for this. Next thing James knows, he’s rambling to Aleks:

“Hey look, I know this is probably cliché as hell but…there’s people who aren’t meant to be in your life; even if you love them with your entire being and can vision a future with them, they’re only meant to be there temporarily. I’ve been there before myself where I’ve had to sit by and watch as someone I deeply loved slowly slipped away from me and it really does hurt like hell. From a young age I had to learn that no matter how much they mean to you, you can’t sit and beg someone to stay; if they wish to leave, just let them,” Aleks attentively watches James as he speaks, “I don’t know jack shit on soulmates or whatever but if they come back then obviously it means something…but other times, those people can come out of nowhere. You don’t think much of them at first but then one day you two just…click a bit stronger than before?”

“Kind of like me and you during The Creatures? I always thought you were cool but as we started doing more content together and getting more comfortable, we ended up becoming really close; I’d go as far as to say that we were almost like platonic soulmates. Hell, you were the first person I thought to call when I tried to drown myself in alcohol earlier,” Aleks looks James in the eyes as he says this, and James can tell he’s being sincere. Aleks reaches and pats James on the hand that he has around him and offers a small smile but as James is about to speak up, Aleks winces in pain, “oh my god, I’m the actually biggest dumbass I know; can you help me to bed? I don’t think I can trust myself anymore tonight.”James stands up first and holds his hands out for Aleks, who he pulls to his feet. When he begins to walk (more like stumble, to tell the truth) back to his bed, a thought crosses James’ mind. 

“Aleks, when’s the last time you ate?” But he does not respond. “Aleks I’m serious, you were really sick there for a bit. It’s not good to be drinking on an empty stomach.” Aleks simply looks at James from his bed, the look on his face reminiscent of a child that is being scolded, and James keeps trying to pressure an answer out of him, “Aleksandr will you answer-“

“Why does it matter?” He finally snaps. 

James glares at him for a bit and walks over to the bed to stand next to him before something dawns on him, “please don’t tell me it was when you and Brett went out for lunch three days ago.”

“Maybe it has been. What does it fucking matter, you don’t have to baby me when I can take care of myself.”

“Need I remind you of why I’m here to begin with? Something about ‘I got sad and drank a lot and got scared to be alone’?” Aleks whines and rests his head on James’ chest. 

“I’m sorry, ok? It’s really fucking rough for me right now and I’m trying to keep going so I can push through these last two months but… it feels impossible. I want to give up but at the same time I’m scared of doing something like that; just… James whatever do you, don’t leave me alone. I can’t fucking take being alone anymore,” James’ heart drops listening to Aleks talk. He can’t help but wonder for exactly how long that Aleks had been bottling all of this up; but now that it’s out, he’s an emotional wreck. And the fact that he’s practically begging James to stay… James could beat the shit out of his past self for being so standoffish toward Aleks. He had been the same way to James, sure, but he had somewhat good reasoning to be that way where James was simply upset over one of his friends leaving. Aleks just wanted to ensure that Cow Chop ended on a high note for the viewers and members alike; and of course, he had to wish that things were different. To tell the truth, even James wishes things had been different for them. Many times James will find himself wondering whete Cow Chop would be right now had the house eviction not happened; aside from the obvious of not seeing the addition of members such as Lindsey, Alec, or Garrett, he wonders if the group would have thrived more if it had remained in Colorado. Maybe he wouldn’t have gotten burnt on creativity so soon, or permanently fucked up an ankle. And most importantly… he and Aleks would not be so tense toward one another. After allowing him to rest his head for a bit longer, James gently pushes Aleks off of him and walks out of the room, much to Aleks’ confusion. 

When James walks back in a couple of minutes later he has a bottle of ibuprofen and water with him that he hands over to Aleks, “take a couple of these and drink some water, you’ve been sick and crying for a majority of the evening. And I’ve ordered some food for us so at least try to eat some when it arrives.”

Aleks is taken aback by the sudden, caring actions from James but he takes the medicine as he asks and after drinking around half of the bottle of water, he lays down on the bed. 

“You don’t have to do this James, seriously. I know what I said but I can take care of myself.”

“Well I can at least care for you while I’m here,” Aleks’ breath hitches at this and he flips over to face away from James, quietly mumbling to himself. James chuckles at him and sits down next to him on the edge of the bed, absentmindedly stroking his hand along Aleks’ side and speaking to him, “no need to feel embarrassed about it, no one will know unless you tell them. I’m doing this out of the kindness of my own heart because I've been concerned about you for a while. I don’t expect you to repay me or anything, just know that someone does care, Aleks.” Aleks slowly flips back over and sits up to face James; he sits quietly for a bit, face full of contemplation, before he settles on a simple “thank you”. James reaches up to move a stray strand of hair from his face and Aleks leans into the touch, resting his face against James’ palm and James begins to rub his thumb just below his mouth. The two sit silently and fully indulge in the small moment, staring each other in the eyes and MAYBE they both think of leaning in for a kiss but they would never admit it… and then James’ phone goes off to tell him that the food has arrived. 

They mostly eat in silence, except for Aleks attempting to steal from James’ food despite the fact that James had ordered the same thing for both of them. After it goes on for a bit James stands up and moves to sit against the wall near the door and Aleks pouts at him; James responds by flipping him off and they both laugh. After they finish, both stand up and begin to walk to one another, meeting in the middle and Aleks embraces James. 

“Seriously, thank you for coming over tonight. You said earlier that I don’t need to feel embarrassed but to tell the truth… no one has ever shown me this much care and I’m still processing that you willingly did.”

“Of course, man; I hate that you’ve felt like no one cares about you, but I hope tonight has been enough to prove different… at least from me. But there are many more people that care about you, I promise,” Aleks mumbles something in response but James isn’t able to understand him, “what was that?”

“I- uh- oh no,” Aleks begins to turn red when he realizes that James heard him, “I said that as long as I have you, then no one else matters. I know we haven’t been the nicest to one another over the past year but I still see you as one of my best friends… maybe even more than that?” He backs away to look at James, “I’m not really sure because I’m still hurting from my last relationship plus the whole my-business-is-collapsing thing but maybe when I have time to recover, do you…wanna look into it? Into us as a couple, I mean.”

James can’t control the smile that consumes his face, “I’d like that; I’ve uh, wanted to say something similar to you for a long time,” now he’s the one turning red, “but take your time recovering. I want you to be in a happier place mentally and hopefully physically as well before we go any further.” After thinking about it off and on for the whole evening James finally gives in and kisses Aleks, and he returns it gratefully… and then he yawns almost immediately afterward. 

“What, am I boring you already?” 

“Dude, do you even know how late it is?” James pulls out his phone to check the time, and it’s just shy of midnight, “so are you staying for tonight? Because at this point if you leave then I’ll be sad AND lonely.”

“Why are you so needy?” James says with a laugh as he begins to strip down to his underwear to climb into bed. Aleks follows suit but removes his clothes in a way that he definitely intends for James to watch him, causing James to almost choke on laughter when he throws his shirt over his head with a wink. When he gets into bed James pulls him to his side and plants a light kiss to his forehead and begins to settle in to sleep… until Aleks speaks up. 

“Hey so, I have insomnia so it’s gonna be a bit before I can fall asleep; that and my head still hurts. So can we talk for a while? Not anything in particular, I just want to talk.” James laughs at the request but he happily complies. He’s not sure how long he and Aleks lay there talking, varying from childhood stories to random jokes and quite literally everything in between but eventually he drifts off to sleep. 

~

James is startled from his train of thought when Aleks suddenly pokes him on the nose to get his attention, looking at him with eyes full of love and affection. He pulls Aleks closer to him and the two lay in each other’s arms for a few beats until Aleks quietly says, “thank you for staying,” and James runs his hand through his hair while smiling at him. 

“Uh so… I’ve been thinking about something for a while,” Aleks speaks after a bit, “I know you’ve always hated LA and while I did initially like it here, it’s lost its charm to me over the past few months. I really liked living in Colorado and I’ve been contemplating moving back there when we shut down Cow Chop.”

“Are you asking me if I want to move back to Denver with you, Aleks?”

“I mean… I suppose I am, James.” Aleks averts his eyes to look at the wall behind James, somewhat bashful over his question.

“Don’t look so worried dude, the answer is yes. I knew that I’ve wanted to leave LA forever now, but I didn’t know where I wanted to go; but as long as we're together then we can go anywhere. BUT we better not remain in this shithole for longer than necessary,” James playfully glares at Aleks, who responds with a big smile.

“I think I’m actually ready to accept the end now. Yeah it sucks that I have so much that I wanted to do with the group that I’ll never get to, but now that I actually have something to look forward to once we wrap it up, it makes me feel better about it,” having nothing to add on to Aleks’ statement, James simply kisses him when he finishes talking.

Cow Chop may be ending in two months but that doesn’t have to mean that the bond between James and Aleks has to die alongside it. In fact, James thinks to himself, it’s gonna mean that they can begin to explore a new step in that bond; one that will be full of love and care and for once, Aleks will know that there is someone that will never leave him alone.

James will make certain of it.


End file.
